The Blood Shed- written and directed by Alan Rowe Kelly

This is one fucked up movie! Looking at the cover makes you think you are in for some boring independent mess of a movie, this is far from that. The Blood Shed is just a tale of your average inbred, cannibal family that lives way back in the woods. There were many similarities in this to flicks like The Texas Chainsaw Movie, The Devil’s Rejects and an older movie called Townies. There just isn’t a sane one out of the Bullion bunch New Jersey’s Sussex and Morris County’s has an Amber alert in effect for two missing kids that haven’t been seen in weeks, they now make it a total of 11 disappearances. Then a news reporter who was covering a major investigation into the Bullion twisted family goes missing. He knows damn well they have something to do with it but ends up a prisoner in their home locked in a cage bound and gagged with no hope in sight.This movie is unforgettable. I couldn’t stop talking about it telling all my friends so I could skeeve them out as much as I was watching it telling them they just had to see it. I talked about it telling them every horrific detail I could remember. Every five minutes I was going ew they did this and ew they did which sparked their inner need to watch something so stomach turning. Inbreds are the most terrifying thing to me, I saw Deliverance and was completely fucked.The characters are all thoroughly disgusting but Beeftina stood out the most for me. Her and her best friend flapjack who she pulls along with her on a little homemade wagon made just for him as she skips thru the dirt roads so happy waving to whoever she passes. She wears Little Lulu like dresses with the little matching undies. Alan Rowe Kelly masters this creepy character so expertly that you sometime’s almost feel sorry for her. But other times you see her bad side and remain putrefied by her.

I recommend this movie to anyone who wants to have fun at being shocked- but understand it is deeply dark and pushes the limits in some situations. You won’t just turn it off and forget about it, you will keep thinking about it and you’ll be having Beeftina moments interrupting your normal TV viewing or maybe even in your sleep waking you up thinking of her lemonade stand song and dance. This flick is not meant for the weak so watch at your own risk!

http://www.alanrowekelly.net/
http://thebloodshed.net/
http://www.myspace.com/thebloodshedmovie

Bent Volume 3- films by Jason Santos

 Four more stories from Jason Santos- Here Comes Your Man, Again, More Than Money’s Worth, and Aftermath.

In Here Comes Your Man- You watch a deviant woman hater as he spitefully and purposely infects countless women with HIV. It’s truly disturbing as you watch him bed woman after woman with the skills of Casanova since he gets off on infecting all of them. When he gets ready to go back in the room each time after putting on a condom he always stares at himself for a sick smug moment knowing what each is in store for.

Again- A man goes to visit his wives good friends who she hasn’t seen in quite some while and acts like a fool as he starts having these flashbacks of dejavu’. It’s humiliating to see him acting so ridicules with him screaming out or running from the room like a nut. His wife is mortified at them meeting her husband for the first time and he is just a complete freak.

More Than Money’s Worth- Is a comical look at the money can’t buy love theory. Gretchen is approached by a heartbroken guys dorky friends as a means of cheering him up from a recent break up that has left him shattered and not up to par for his Golf Tournament. They want the win so bad they slip her a nice check to be nice to him and break his black mood, the normal snags entail but it’s charming. 

Aftermath- After two outcast boys are pushed to their boiling point they snap taking down most of the schools football team who were the main antagonists in their situation. It’s a realistic look at all of the different feelings in that type of situation…it makes you think and realize that people are actually like this in life and they have no realization on how much they traumatize the weak kids.

Bent Volume 2- Jason Santos

The Dinner- This story is told without any spoken words and in black and white- it’s very visual and simple gestures tell you a lot about what’s going on and what’s about to happen. It’s kinda like the movie “Same Time Next Year” but only it’s more erotic and falsely implies one situation while having it turn out to be something very different. Tina Krause shines bright in this tale.

Time Heals All Wounds- Mike was in a great relationship with a woman he loved and cared about deeply but one day she picks up and leaves dumping him leaving with no recollection of went wrong. He becomes so obsessed with trying to find out that he wishes for the truth to be found out and finally it is. His friend Kelly always visits and tries to cheer him up for two long years of him pining away for his ex. He wishes for his excuse so strongly it stops all time.

A Sky With No Angels- School mate Paul has tracked down Sara hoping for her to help him out since he is in some sort of sticky situation. She doesn’t remember him at first but eventually figures out that he was a huge fan of the cheerleading team, then he proceeds to profess his love for her and trying to convince her to take care of some brilliant evidence that shows proof about death. This was great at first but I didn’t like the swerve at the end.

Bent Volume 1

Bent Volume one contains three stories that Award winning writer/director Jason Santo has put together to show you that human life, like the path of running water can be very unpredictable.

Marisa:
There is nothing like a woman scorned, so if your the bearer of the bad news or the one caught with your pants down with her best friend- Look out! Revenge is sweet, so sweet that nine out of ten women prefer it. Marisa has fallen for the perfect man: the one who whispers those sweet nothings in her ear, the one who brings her a rose to profess his love at every visit- and you know how much women love getting presents! The best gift this sleaze gives her is the one she can’t get rid of. Marisa goes to confront her prince charming and see’s the piece of shit con artist thru the window getting frisky on the couch with someone else and leaves broken hearted. Later she decides to return the favor by giving him a very special gift of her own.

Haunted:
Naturally from the movies title I expected a haunted house story but this one was a tad different. It starts with a group of hired thugs that beat and kill their bosses main squeeze Colette’s fling Sean Peters. They are video taping it for proof that they killed and disposed of the guilty man’s body. Well you know what they say about violent deaths- that the disgruntled spirit usually remains on earth with a hell of a grudge for those who have taken his life. Bryce and Kramer bring Colette to someplace their boss has instructed them to and she remains tied to the chair unconscious. As soon as she opens her eyes and lifts her head she starts screaming in fear, fear that you think is because she realized she is tied up…wrong! They knock her out again and soon after you hear these ghastly shrieks that made me jump in my chair. The rest is pretty cool and I don’t want to spoil it for you so I’ll stop here.

His Life:
This one would have to be my least favorite of the three. Martin has known since he was born he was going to die when he turns 25. So expecting the worse, he took off leaving his mother and girlfriend astonished at his leaving with out saying a word… not even a goodbye. He set off to see the wonders of the world before that dreaded day crept up and took his existence. He hurt a lot of people by committing this selfish act driven by his death obsession. You watch as he comes home to die and visits all of his old favorite places tying up all loose ends, and talking to people that meant something to him before finally accepting his fate.

Interview with Theo Kerg, THCM2

An interview with Theo Kerg, the maniacal killer from “The Horror Convention Massacre 2”

Although he had very little screen time in “The Horror Convention Massacre,” actor Theo Kerg caught viewers off guard with his portrayal of the mysterious and disturbing killer on a rampage in Old School Sinema’s award-winning cult classic.

With a lot more screen time in the sequel, “The Horror Convention Massacre 2,” Kerg is back as the killer, hacking away at partygoers and convention guests in this homage to slasher exploitation flicks of the 70s and 80s.

Kerg was game to let us in on his craft and what goes on in his mind when he’s slashing away at his victims and working with sexy vixens. Look for “The Horror Convention Massacre 2” on DVD near Halloween at www.ossfilms.com. To find out more about Old School Sinema and its films, check out their main MySpace page at http://www.myspace.com/ossprojects or visit the page for “The Horror Convention Massacre 2” at myspace.com/thcm2.

Q: In “The Horror Convention Massacre,” we didn’t get to see you until nearly the end of the film as a lot of kills were being done from POV shots and the killer’s identity was not revealed until later. When you do show up on screen, it’s a bit of a shock and some of your scenes were quite disturbing. What can you say about your part in the original “THCM” and what you would do to prepare and put yourself in the mind of a madman?

KERG: Yeah, Joe O (writer/producer/director) wanted the audience to keep guessing who the killer was in the first film so all you see is my hands for half the movie. As for getting into character I would just drink a lot of coffee (laughs).

Q: We heard you caused quite a scene at Cinema Wasteland when shooting the original film, interacting with the fans and walking around with makeup blood all over your body in the bar. Tell us about that.

KERG: I like the fact that almost anything goes with the Wasteland fans. There’s never a dull moment in conversation. What really topped the cake that weekend was the blackout. While I was raging for the camera all the power in the hotel went out around midnight until 6 a.m. and I hung out until then going from room to room drinking and partying with everyone. It was a perfect form of chaos. I hope someone kills the power for the upcoming Wasteland. Please. I know someone’s got the nerve.

Q: You have a much more expanded part and much more onscreen time in the sequel, “The Horror Convention Massacre 2.” What was that like?

KERG: It was killer, man! I’m ready to do part three.

Q: What is different about you this time around? We hear your look is different, so maybe tell us about that and why you changed it for the film, even though it picks up right where part 1 ended.

KERG: I didn’t know there was going to be a part two and I had cut my hair really short between the films, but there was a purification scene to make sense of it all. The killer has to shed his skin, so to speak, like a snake.

Q: You’re living the dream of millions of horror fans by getting to kill several people on screen, including some sexy women (even some who are in the nude). What’s that like and are you having as much fun as it looks when working on these films?

KERG: I love it and would like to make a career out of it. “THCM” was the first movie I was in and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I always got to know the actresses a bit before we did scenes together. I wanted to make sure the girls were comfortable with the scenes and they always were. Sometimes it would get a bit hot when we were stuck together by chocolate flavored blood half naked holding a position for the camera. I would say its very therapeutic being a killer.

Q: “The Horror Convention Massacre” has become quite the underground cult classic and you’ve gotten some nice reviews for your work. Do you have any interesting stories regarding fans, the conventions or the screenings you’ve had and how people react when they see you and realize you’re the killer from the movie?

KERG: I got invited to a room after shooting one day at the convention hotel where three happily naked females were blood wrestling on tarps. They asked me to join in and I did of course. Andy Kaufman had it right. When I’m at screenings people by me drinks sometimes, but I’m always changing my look so not many people recognize me.

Q: What do you like about working with Old School Sinema and their movies?

KERG: Working with Old School Sinema opened my eyes to a whole new realm of possibilities which are infinite when dealing with horror. Horror has it all- drama, suspense, romance, sci-fi, comedy, nudity, and gore as twisted as you can turn it. In many cases Horror can paint a better portrait of reality because, unlike other movie genres, Horror is not afraid to do so.

Q: Do you have any other comments or anything else you’d like to add?

KERG: Well first of all thanks for giving a shit and I hope you get a chance to see “The Horror Convention Massacre 2.” I’d also like to thank any fans out there for their support. Is this the part of the interview where people want to hear something monumental? Fuck it. May the rivers of blood never run dry, for my heart is the ocean stocked with supply, To all a good day and all a good night. I’ll see you in horror, bled by the knife.

Sandman- An A.normale Productions

When you think of the Sandman (or at least when I do) I think of some man that used to come out at night to sneak into your bedroom and sprinkle the dust of sand in your eyes and you would fall into a deep sleep, this movie was different than that. It features the members of the band Anonymus who I think are the ones dressed up in Halloween costumes as they mug and kill a lady who just got off the bus and was unsure of where she is going. When they get home they anty up their new found treasures and two out of the three head to the bar with the hopes of getting laid and getting fucked up. After the guy who lagged behind starts staring at pictures for awhile, a story plays out before you and you see the Sandman get his origin which was pretty unique. This movie is meant to be watched with the idea of having fun on your mind, it was a pretty weird ride.

Chasing Darkness (the Unrated Directors cut)- A film by Jason Hull

“We are all chasing some sort of darkness in our lives…” says the Priest to the very experienced creature of the night hunter. You wouldn’t believe how relieved I was that this was a vampire flick and not a zombie one. Vinnie Carponi is a take no shit kind of guy that lives with his current partner, Sierra who thinks he is out cheating when he is really just working, taking care of life’s little nuisances.

One day, while catching a beer at Quillen’s cafe, he bumps into his former lost love, Faith who happens to be a martial artist world champion that used to be in the same business as him but now just competes for a living. Sierra sees them chatting and decides she is going to follow him and catch him in the act. She catches him in the act all right but it has nothing to do with cheating.

Besides all the emotional drama going on his life, the Boss is giving him one last shot to redeem himself and make things right on a job that didn’t go as planned. The Boss is a grumpy looking man who Vinnie could just bust up but has respect for….well to a point. The leader of the vampires likes to feed on males and keeps all the females to himself. These vampires can bite you on any part of the body, not just the neck.

Let me tell you, the leader was one cool looking vampire with a Nosferatu like appearance and very cold blue eyes. When he talks it has this creepy growling like quality that would make me piss my pants if I ran into him in some dark alley…shit he would scare me just about anywhere. Chasing Darkness surpassed my expectations and I think the vampires lovers out there will like what is in store with them with this movie!

Chasing Darkness MySpace

Indy Title Annouced

The news is all over the net today. Shia let the world know the title at the MTV VMAs. It has been confirmed by the Indiana Jones site.

It Knows What Scares Us!

To promote the release of Poltergeist — and give fans a little extra something – the movie will be screened on Oct. 4 at 7:30 pm at participating Regal, United Artists, Edwards, Cinemark and AMC theaters. Tickets ($10 each) are now on sale at theater box offices and www.fathomevents.com.

Some of us at TISS already have our tickets. You can join us at the Warrington Regal on 611 on October 4th. Don’t wait, tickets will probably sell out. Go to the Fathom Events link above to get your tickets.

STUPID TEENAGERS ARE COMING TO DVD

STUPID TEENAGERS ARE COMING TO DVD SEPTEMBER 25…AND THEY’RE TOTALLY LOADED! With less than three weeks to go before the release of Stupid Teenagers Must Die! on DVD, the filmmakers have decided to announce the bonus features that will be included on the disc. According to STMD! director, Jeff C. Smith, “Our distributor told us the maximum amount of space we could use on the DVD was 125 minutes. We gave them 125 minutes worth of stuff.” The “totally loaded” DVD will include:- A 30 minute “Making Of” Documentary entitled Movies Are Bullshit! The Making Of Stupid Teenagers Must Die!

- Audio commentary with director Jeff C. Smith and actor Jovan Meredith.

- An Audience Reaction Audio Track recorded at the STMD! premiere.

- A “special” interview with STMD! cast member Will Deutsch.

- The STMD! Internet Trailer.

Stupid Teenagers Must Die! is currently available for pre-order at Amazon.com, BestBuy.com, BarnesAndNoble.com, Tower.com and many other online retailers. The DVD will be released on Tuesday, September 25, 2007. More information about the film can be found at www.StupidTeenagersMustDie.com or by logging on to www.myspace.com/StupidTeenagers.

Set in the 1980’s, Stupid Teenagers Must Die! tells the story of a group of teenagers that hold a séance in a haunted house. All the typical 80’s horror movie characters are there: the cool hero, the innocent girlfriend, the goth chick, the tough guy, the beautiful blonde girl, the shy guy in love with the beautiful blonde girl, a couple of lipstick lesbians and two big geeks.

In true low budget 80’s horror movie fashion, weird things start happening around the house. One dimensional characters are dying preposterously bloody deaths, girls are getting naked for no apparent reason and people walk into dangerous, pitch black rooms saying classic lines like, “Is someone in here?” As the poor, hapless kids are sliced and diced, it’s up to our hero to lead the remaining survivors to safety before the house is filled with stupid dead teenagers.

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