Buffy, Season 8, Issue 5 – “The Chain”

Script: Joss WhedonPencils: Paul LeeInks: Andy OwensColors: Dave StewartIssue #5, “The Chain” in Season 8 of Buffy is the most underwhelming issue so far. It deals with one of the Buffy decoy’s who is underground, literally. Early on in the season, it is explained that there is the real Buffy and 2 decoys. This is in an attempt to confuse Buffy’s enemies.The chain is mostly narrated by the Buffy decoy and we see her calling into the world of being a slayer and her life underground and her eventual death. This obviously will play into the story but did we need an entire stand alone issue dealing with this defeat in the slayer world? Couldn’t we just had Giles say a line like, “The underground decoy has been defeated.”? We have nothing invested in the decoy. So to follow her through an entire issue was tedious. The art work is well done and the cover by Ju Chen is very nice.The first four issues aren’t spectacular but they do draw on my love of the characters, most of which are missing in this issue. We briefly see Giles, Andrew, Vi and Rona. Their appearance doesn’t help this issue from being a completely forgetful one.Next Issue: “No Future For You.” The cover has Faith on it so I’m looking forward to it. It is due to arrive in stores on September 5th.

Naked Beneath The Water- a film by Sean Cain

Velvet Hammer Productions presents Sean Cain’s film Naked BeneathThe Water. It was pretty cool with a totally different concept of what I am normally used to. There is a hit show on the T.V. called Public Enemy Number One where all of the players compete for the coveted title of killer of the year.

Contestants are to go out and commit their crimes on film and send them to the show where they will decide who is the most merciless, cold hearted murderer. Pelle’s brother is missing. He ends up seeing an episode on TV where his brother is getting to know the chainsaw a little better.

Pelle is determined to find out what happened to his brother after receiving a strange phone call so he moves into Robert’s old apartment and things start to slowly pan out and you start to piece together what is going on. Some of his neighbors tell him they think he left to join some strange sex cult club.

Will Pelle succeed in finding his brother? Is he even still alive? A killer creepy soundtrack accompanies this film by Cain which gives a new definition to the meaning of killer ratings. Soon to come will be the release of his newer film Drowning in Flames so keep an ear open for upcoming news..

Making of Poltergeist

Doug managed to find out some great info on an abandoned Poltergeist DVD and this great “Making of Poltergiest” film from 1982. God, I love this movie. I hope they show it on the big screen in my area in October.

 “A six disc prototype, from the abandoned 20th Anniversary Special Edition, surfaced on Ebay a few years ago and still crops up from time to time. Special features included the The First Real Ghost Story and The Making of Poltergeist featurettes, screenplay, several photo galleries and Fangoria interviews, and the documentaries E! True Hollywood Story, Hollywood Ghost Stories and Terror in The Aisles. The 6th disc was a copy of the original motion picture soundtrack by Jerry Goldsmith.”

Means to an end- short review

Jake Hamilton and Paul Solet team up to give us this comical take on how hard it is to get your horror screenplay read let alone picked up for a film. These two get together and decide they are going to make a horror movie that will stand out and be their claim to fame. So giving it their all for the art of horror is an understatement in this almost 14 minute long film.

Paul and Jake find themselves beating, shooting, stabbing, and my personal favorite shredding off skin with the cheese shredder. This movie is totally unique and an amusing look into this part of the horror world. It shows just how far some directors will go for the reward of of becoming a celebrity. In the end the guys finally luck out with movie deal as long as they can bring out a killer ending…. just wait until you see what they do!

Poltergeist DVD + back on the big screen!

Ok, so it’s not indie news but Poltergeist is a movie near and dear to my heart – in fact I’m sure there are quite a few filmmakers, including myself, who have been inspired by this classic – which is why you will find myself and a some of the TISS crew at this one time screening on October 4th. Join us.

 Read on… 

Warner delivers the classic horror Oct. 9 (prebook Sept. 4) remastered and restored for $19.97.

To promote the release — and give fans a little extra something – the movie will be screened on Oct. 4 at 7:30 pm at participating Regal, United Artists, Edwards, Cinemark and AMC theaters. Tickets ($10 each) go on sale Sept. 7 at theater box offices and www.fathomevents.com.

The DVD doesn’t have much in the way of special features, just a two-part documentary called “They Are Here: The Real World of Poltergeists Revealed.”

The Slaughter Disc (unrated directors cut)- David Quitmeyer

Today we meet Mike, a young man who is totally infatuated with porn. Morning, noon, and night this guy has got the TV full of bouncing bare skin and the lotion ready to rub one out and put his days of carpal tunnel syndrome a lot closer to coming to a surface. Mike will watch anything and even seemed to enjoy clown porn. This boy has got a big problem and needs some serious help.

While at the adult video store a magazine that has this macabre sex freak Andromeda Strange on the cover catches his eye so he purchases and takes it home where he flops down on the couch to read it. After reading an ad suggesting he order some of these over the top porn flicks that she stars in. Now some people say porn and horror don’t mix, to me it was like a bad car accident on the side of the road you don’t wanna look but you have to.

Will I watch it again….probably not. Will I tell anyone about it.. Hell Yeah, everybody I know! It’s the whole shock factor and most of the people I know have never witnessed this type of movie and it would most likely force their jaws to drop. Steel Web studios just might become the new Eric Stanze for me. He was one of the first directors to ever traumatize me with their horrific visions- that takes a lot in today’s world.

I know this is going to shine on my pervasive side but I won’t pretend that if another chapter of Andromeda Strange’s freaky sex fests come to my door step that I won’t open it. I will eagerly rip it open in anticipation of what’s going to skeeve me or maybe even titillate me this time. I hope my review causes you to go out and buy this because if you need a little break in the monotony this is definitely it.

Amateur Porn Star Killer- directed by Shane Ryan

Amateur Pornstar killer was very different then what I had expected it to be. Judging by the title only I had visions of dead pornstars laying massacred on their movie sets and in their homes. Nope, totally different idea all together. This rancid movie from director Shane Ryan will settle in your head reminding you that there is evil everywhere and if your not careful you might end up in a not so nice situation just like this one…or worse.

Most of the footage is of the killer and another victim with blonde hair going at it and it seems to be the significant key to the reason why he is what he is. Was he obsessed with her? Did he go out and get other women in this same situation and pretend it was her he was screwing around with so he can relive the blondes murder over and over? Was she the one who cause this sicko to snap?

The 18 year old killer named Brandon is cruising around in his car looking for his next victim and happens upon the cute petite Stacy. She makes the mistake of finding interest in what this guys all about and gets into the car with him. He films everything, the camera is always rolling and it’s gritty jumping frames are so realistic that one might find it hard to believe that Amateur Pornstar killer is just a movie. It is a bit drawn out though and slow in nature.

You will be left unnerved by the content of this story as you watch as the shy reserved Stacy’s temperament turns from embarrassment to fear as she realizes she is the main player in this no win game. You can see the thought “I wish I never got in his car!” cloud over her face several times as you can tell the wheels are turning in her head on how to get away, I just don’t think she knew how deep in it she was until Brandon shows her the version of his true neurotic self.

Townies- by Wayne Alan Harold

Why is it every time I look at a movie cover I immediately judge it by thinking I will or will not like it? Lately I have made to many premonitions on this and have been wrong, dead wrong. Townies to me looked like it was going to be a boring piece of shit- guess what it wasn’t?

We have people around here that we call “Dirty Parkers” that are almost the same as townies, not really crazy though just dope heads with Hepatitis and HIV written all over them. Me I avoid their nasty asses on all accounts because they make me sick. But I know none of them cook up squirrels for dinner…do they?

Each Townie had there own unique fucked up personality that you could fall in love with. Pricey was my favorite in her little polka dot dress walking her baby in the stroller and being so innocent and happy that she got excited and waved to everyone. Then a ride in the wrong car changes her forever.

The most annoying character to me was The Licker. He grated on my nerves to the point I wanted to kick him in his fat lazy ass. Dickie was naive and somewhat slow so he would do the stupid things that jerk offs Thad and Billy would tell him to, so when quirky townie Caduceus finally kicks their asses you don’t feel bad…at all.

 I can just imagine how many people watch this and think about the branded scumbags of their town, and how they are alienated from the rest of the town like condemned lepers. I understand why this movie is a cult classic and it now holds a spot in my top 10 movies…. DO NOT miss this!

Shock Cinema- Volumes 3 & 4

Scream Queen, Linnea Quigley

One of Horror’s finest Scream Queens, Brinke Stevens, is back with two more chapters in Shock Cinema. She interviews some producers and directors from the big bad B movie industry and exploitation genre. You get to see some of the outtakes, trailers, bloopers, gore and of course plenty of T&A and corny sex scenes.

My personal Favorite Scream Queen, the adorable Linnea Quigley, is in plenty of these scenes and I was delighted to see her in action again, I just love her persona. Some of the movies that are covered in this great footage are Nightmare Sisters, Dr. Alien, Robot Ninja, and Skinned Alive.

I can remember seeing a few of these on USA’s Up All Night program they used to have on the weekends, well the PG rated versions anyway. If you were like me and would stay up all night watching these B Movie cult classics you will cherish this dvd recap.

Honey, I’m Home – Movie Review

Honey, I’m Home” stars Jacob Magnuson and Karen Worden.   It is written and directed by David Branin (Shoot-Out, REFRAGMENTED) while being shot and edited by Vincent Martinez (Comic Noir, Harlem Sunset, Too Late For Tears).

This short’s strength lies in the remarkable acting ability displayed by Jacob Magnuson. In only five minutes, the actor takes us on a journey from which the audience immediately feels an aversion toward his character, given the clues of his infidelity, to a new understanding of the character and the pain brought forth by his betrayal. But director, David Branin, redeems his main character, giving the audience a surprising twist on disloyalty. After a second viewing, one can spot hints that the director drops as to what the ending might bring. Those well versed in watching films might discover the secret on their first viewing.

Vincent Martinez did a beautiful job capturing the feel of young professionals living in suburbia, not once looking amateur or low-budget. The same can be said for the sound, an often neglected aspect with independent films. David Branin has a strong 5 minute piece and shows great promise as a filmmaker. Infidelity has never been this much fun.

www.myspace.com/honeyimhomethemovie

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