TRANSFORMERS REVIEW

My friend, Sandro, got an early viewing of the TRANSFORMERS. Here’s his review. Enjoy: 

MAN O MAN Where do I start so I do not spoil this movie!!!! I got a special treat tonight when a friend of mine called me up and surprised me with a special screening ticket to TRANSFORMERS!!!!!

I had great hopes for Spider-man III, and they were fulfilled. Pirates was a passer-by. Shrek I did not even bother with…but TRANSFORMERS I was very very iffy….and guess what…..this movie was f—in amazin’!!!!! THIS IS THE MOVIE TO SEE THIS SUMMER!!!!!

I wish I could have helped design the toys to give the movie line justice!!! The story was a little thin in dialogue, but so was the cartoon and comic. Bottom line from beginning to end you will see robots transform, blow up everything, and just smash everything on the screen!!!!
It was the cartoon brought to real life. I do not care about GM financing a majority of the movie, and that Bumblebee is a bad-ass Camaro…it was just right, the characters all worked together amazingly!

Sure you see Megatron for the last part of the movie, but he was like some awesome freakin futuristic jet…I wish I could have seen more of Starscream really!!!

There were certain lines recited by the characters that fans will remember from the cartoon, and this is the only spoiler I will give, Optimus busts out his energy sword to bust up some Deceptocreep!!!!

There was humor, tons and tons of action, and some displaced love story….but you will not want it to end when the credits start coming up. You just want more, or want to see it again!!!
It is a turbo-revvin rollercoaster ride literally from the first 5 minutes until the end of the movie!!
Great cameo performances to from John Turturro, Bernie Mac, and John Voight! Hugo Weaving is the voice for Megatron. The Decepticons are gigantic as the Autobots are alot smaller in size.

If you love action movies, and remember Transformers the cartoon series, you will not, repeat, will not be disappointed!!!! I left the theater all amped up…wanting to smash things up!!!
THE BIG FUCKIN’ ROBOTS ARE HERE!!!

Cannibal Flesh Riot!

 

I recently had the pleasure of viewing Gris Grimly’s short film, “Cannibal Flesh Riot!” The film is a wickedly cool ghoulish tale that follows two ghouls, Stash and Hub, as they discuss the various culinary tastes they have aquired in their many years of eating dead flesh. This film is a stylish homage to an entire century of celluloid horror. Influnces abound from early 20th century German expressionism, Universal’s gothic horror of the 30s and 40s, the B-Horror of the 50s and even evoking Tim Burton as well as Sam Raimi’s “Evil Dead” without aping them. Grimly, not a stranger to horror, an accomplished author, illustrator and sculptor in the genre combines his talents for an instant horror classic. The stop motion animation done in a style that would make O’Brian and Harryhausen proud is well worth checking out.

If you can get your hands on this cool ghoul treat, give it a go. Grimly knows his stuff.

Key Largo at the County Theater

The County Theater in Doylestown, PA will be screening the Bogart/Bacall classic film, Key Largo at 7pm. Guerilladelphia will be there to watch this classic film on the big screen. The County always is a good time.

Ice From The Sun- Another Eric Stanze treat!

ICE FROM THE SUN:
Depravity. Hostility. Insanity. And other acts of God.

This has to be one of the oddest movies I have seen thus far in my movie reviewing career. “Ice From The Sun” from Eric Stanze is like this biblical, almost mythical story. A wizard named Ambolin created a world surrounded by ice, another dimension for him and his apprentice known as The Presence to rule over and play God. The more humans The Presence killed the more stronger and powerful he’d become. He was then shunned from the angels above and the demons below- he was so nasty he had his own realm.

The angels and devils joined forces for the sole fact they needed to destroy The Presence before it was to late. Since they can not penetrate the ice themselves they choose a human named Alison to do so. Once thru the ice Alison must confront and destroy The Presence- she must make him remember he was a man who once loved, roamed the Earth and that even he was once afraid of death since he was just a mere mortal like us. Can she break thru his strong intention of not remembering?

All of these crazy images and colors blend into this dream like film that doesn’t seem to make sense yet everything just seems to fit. Eric Stanze has plenty of ideas and he isn’t afraid to use them and that’s important in the filmmaking world today. Fresh ideas are hard to come by and shock value is next to nil in today’s horror films, Stanze isn’t afraid to be extreme- he fuckin lives for it! There is an extensive list of films under this man’s belt and many more to come at us in the future, cheers to the new King of Shock! [Read more]

37 West- film by Jakob Bilinski

  Jakob Bilinski has a bright future inside of him and you can tell by every movie of his that you watch, I’ve seen a few and haven’t hit a bad one yet. He warned me in advance that this was one of his earlier productions and he hadn’t ironed out all the kinks in his filmmaking yet. The only thing that I can think of that fell into that category would be in the bar scenes it was a little dark sometimes and you couldn’t make out much of the surroundings but you don’t really need to, it’s the conversation that needs to be heard.

  A drifter swings thru a little town telling tales of a buried trunk of money somewhere under the dry sandy soil, he just couldn’t seem to remember where he buried it. He stresses to the bartender Russell that he needs to keep quiet about this so no one else would be able to find it or claim it as their own. That drifter barely made it out the door before Russ is telling Wyley of the plan he has come up with. The next day three teenage friends pull into town with a broken car and Keira the hostess with the mostess’ offers to fix it.

  As you get to know the characters you find out that Angel (who reminded me of Jewel) is prim and proper and eventually lets her hair down and takes a few drinks. You watch as her crush on Kale deepens into a budding relationship. Their friend Derek hooks up with Keira and eventually they hear the rumor of those buried bucks and decide they want in on trying to find it. Detective Dominic starts snooping around town after another suspicious man comes around complaining that the buried cash was his and he wants it all back.

  Every time Dominic and the suspicious man would have a conversation while smoking a cigarette they would blow it each others faces cracking me up. Will you ever see what’s in the box? Will all the turmoil be worth it? You’ll never know if you don’t watch “37 West.” There’s murder, betrayal, and good storyline to keep you interested in what’s going on in front of you. There were a few slow parts but they weren’t bad enough to discourage you from watching this scavenger hunt gone wrong.

This Is Some Scene – Episode 2

Recalling some of our greatest movie going experiences.

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Bryn Mawr Theater BrynMawrFilm.org Booby-trapped temples, snake-filled sarcophagi, and diabolical Nazi villains! These are but a few of the reasons to see Harrison Ford as the adventurous archaeologist Indiana Jones. Don’t miss seeing this classic on the big screen before Spielberg’s fourth installment in 2008.

The Great American Snuff Movie- a film from Sean Tretta

I have been reviewing some really nasty movies lately, and by nasty I mean all were women being tortured and raped except “I Spit On Your Corpse I Piss On Your Grave” which actually had actress Emily Haak doing the raping. “The Great American Snuff Film” isn’t too much different with William Grone, a serial killer who with the help of his partner Roy kidnap two girls with the intentions of making a snuff film over a period of two days but ends up going on for almost a week. William is a cold hearted woman hater whose anger stems from being abandoned by his whore mother. He enjoys inflicting pain on others and gets off on their facial expressions, the pleading, and how they struggle as he tortures and beats them. [Read more]

King Kong Kounty

The original 1933 classic, “King Kong” will be playing on the big screen at 7pm at the County Theatre in Doylestown. Don’t miss this one.

Alex Ferrari’s CYN: Sexy, Hip and Dangerous

Director: Alex Ferrari,
Starring: Stephaine Michaels, Josh Randall, Frank Rodriguez, and Derek Latta
Length: 5 minutes
Rated: NR

Alex Ferrari is back after his slick indie short, “Broken” and he’s bringing sexy with him. “Cyn”, above all else, is ultra-hip and sexy. Ferrari has a knack for creating dark characters that we love, especially his women. Ferrari’s girls are reminiscent of Tarantino’s repertoire of bad girls.

“CYN” concerns a kidnapping that has already taken place when the film begins. A woman is held hostage by two psychopaths (Mr. Sugar and Otto) in an old abandon kindergarten. Elsewhere, someone watches the kidnapped Cyn on a closed circuit monitor. Cyn quickly turns the tables on them soon the night becomes a cat and mouse mind game. [Read more]

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